Come out, out
to this awaited day of yours
Oh you thirst for sweet milk.
Here’s touch. Here’s sight.
Bright lights, cold air and
all whispered lullaby.
I have put down my book of fake love
(Your face reflects true infatuation)
And now my soul is full of new hope and desire
I was sick of dark
When suddenly you emerged for me, bringing
thousands of stars, a refreshing breeze
and lullabies to sing you to sleep.
I shall know you by your eager feet
and your hair – stark black like mine;
I’ll whisper happy incoherent things
while I wait for you to understand.
All other faces rendered meaningless
against yours. A reflection of mine.
And all other footsteps are those of mice.
Yours of a stallion.
And there will be more drunkenness than wine
when your little hand wraps around mine.
Faint violins where we shall dine,
The hushing of your loud cries, against the louder voices
And all the looks of bitter eyes. Ah there,
We’ll laugh like summer sounds upon the summer air.
Dear Harmey,
This piece is my favorite that I have ever read of oyurs. The realtionship between mother and child was not something I would have extracted from the Fitzgerald original, yet you were able to create something so beautiful out of something I could not see. You beautifully establish the mother’s infatuation with her newborn child by contrasting it to that she would have deemed memorable before her days of motherhood – almost as if the outside world is rendered meaningless by the one she created. I would read anything your wonderful mind comes up with, but this was truly wonderful.
Love Always,
Em
dear harmehar,
i love this piece. the style it’s written in, the diction choices, and the flow all contribute to the fact that this piece tugs at the heartstrings of anyone who has a child, or even wants a child in the future.
i think my favourite line was, “And all other footsteps are those of mice. Yours of a stallion.” because it showed the magnitude and the hold that this baby has on the mother. taken out of context, i might have guessed that a lot of these lines could be seen as romantic, and i love that it isn’t. another thing i appreciated was the mother seeing her reflection in her child, because it showed the connection in a really interesting way.
one thing i would offer would to maybe write a prose part explaining the poem and the poem you emulated from, just because if i hadn’t seen your poetry seminar i may not have understood it completely and the relevance to f scott fitzgerald.
love,
alysha